A good friend of mind once said to me “You really don’t know what’s worth living for until you know what’s worth dying for”. If I look back on it, it took me a long while to get what he meant. I lived in the world of trying to find myself, like that would give me a better understanding of where i was headed in life. As I reflected on his words I started to get a clearer understanding of what he was saying and today I believe his words to be so true.
That which is worth dying for gives inspiration and passion. We see it all the time in the world around us. Especially with parent who would do any thing for their kids. Sometimes they would risk anything for them, like a mother risking her own life in labour to bring the life of a child into the world. A parent giving up an organ to save the life of their child. People say that after moments like these they get a new-found lease on life. Why is this I wonder?
In moments like these there is very little time for reflection on life, “Who am I and where am I headed?”. There is only room for action. Sometimes when there appears no way forward a path appears miraculously from nowhere. Persistence and faith that there will be a way, that there will be positive outcome can create the space for something unexplainable to take place.
Trying to find yourself is like trying to find the path when there is no path yet to take as the path has not head been created. You are going to stand still until that moment of inertia has finally passed and you are willing to take a step forward into the unknown and take a risk in life. Take a gamble and bet on yourself. The odds maybe stacked against you and failure may be immanent, however when your life is created, you get to say where it goes, you get to say what it is you want to do. Failure doesn’t make you a loser. Failure is just a set back, a learning opportunity to find out what works and what doesn’t work on the path to success.
Another good friend of mine said “Unless you are making up your life moment by moment, you can only be coming from the past”. What he meant was unless you are creating life in every moment you can only ever have what the past has ever previously delivered. The past is a good thing it teaches us about possible dangers in life, however some dangers are real and some are perceived and more often than not it is the perceived dangers that cause us to hesitate in life. We end up stuck in a rut, doing the same things over and over hoping for a different result or something new to occur, dreaming of one day someday maybe with a fear that something bad might happen to us but not really remembering why. Hence, I try to live by the motto, “If everything I am doing today in giving me what I already have, then it will take me doing something different to what I am already doing to give me a new future”. Therefore a new future requires me to create something new in my life.
I have learned that life isn’t about changing the past, it is about accepting what has gone before and moving on. I have to stop trying to change the world and start creating the one I want to live in (Be the change you want to see in the world). My wife said to me once “You want the million dollars you just don’t want it in dollar coins” and she was right, I had to admit it. What she was saying was I had everything I wanted in life around me, I just didn’t like the way it looked. She was saying I already had the million dollars, I just didn’t want to accept the way it was because that might mean that I might have to accept that everything I was ever striving for, trying to get, was already there and I didn’t like that. If that is true, I have to ask myself the question “Now what?”.
So if I want to live a life worthy of living, a life where I get a say in who I am, I get to say what I do in the world and I get to create where I am going and the difference I want to make, what is it going to take?
First I need to stop trying to find myself like I am lost. And really how do you find yourself? Look out the window one day and suddenly go “oh there you are behind that tree, get over here I need to start living”. Quite a funny thought really. No I have to learn to love what I already have and choose it like I wanted it and asked for it because in a way I did, as my life has been created by the sum result of all my previous actions and inactions.
And finally to start actively creating the journey moment by moment.